Hadriel Inbox

[theweakhavepurpose]

INBOX This is... this is Deputy Pratt of the Hope County sheriff's department... art credit code credit

Comments

[unphase]

Yeah, I have been since I came here.

[and she finally gets to patrol by herself, yay!]

A flamethrower? [she sounds concerned. which makes sense because she probably burned to death] Who's that for?

[that's pretty impressive. and it was nice of the neighboring county to come to the rescue]

[theweakhavepurpose]

[No no un-yay! She is like twelve and who keeps letting all these children onto the force????]

Peter's making it. I think he was gonna use it to protect the lab but so long as he's not burning my range down he can do whatever with it.

[unphase]

[she's a fully grown woman where she comes from]

Oh. I . . . guess he can be trusted to not burn down the entire town?

By the way, I am so jealous that you guys got to have an adventure and I didn't.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah it'll be fine. If he does, he'll go into self imposed community service for the next seven hundred years to atone for it. I don't think we have anything to worry about.

I guess it was an adventure up until we found the bunker and all the blood and torture videos. The trip home wasn't very fun.

I have some MRE's left if you want to simulate the experience with some terrible freeze dried food.

[Nice save before spiraling down into everything is terrible.]

[unphase]

[she starts laughing] Oh! Oh, I bet he would! Grife, it would be almost worth it to burn down something small.

...no, I guess it wouldn't be?

Ugh. [she makes a face] No. No. I have enough to cope with eating canned mushy peas.

[progress!]

[theweakhavepurpose]

It'd warm us up a bit at least. That's something.

[he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.]

Yeah it .. was pretty awful and I didn't even go down into the bunker.

You don't want to try something that claims it definitely might be a pork chop?

[unphase]

We could roast marshmallows and make s'mores! It would be fun.

[she looks on empathetically]

Do you want to talk about it? Or would you rather be distracted?

I don't even eat pork chops that are pork chops! I am really not going to eat one that claims it definitely might be a pork chop.

[theweakhavepurpose]

It .. actually would. I could go for some gooey chocolate and graham cracker goodness.

[He needs a day off badly.]

It doesn't matter really. I'm sure they'll tell everyone what they found eventually. I shouldn't be the person to break the news.

I smelled it and I'm pretty sure it's made of compressed sawdust. And salt. Lots of salt.

[unphase]

So could I. I wonder which alien we'd have to bribe to get that.

[so distraction it is. she can do that]

Okay. I can wait.

[she makes a grossed out face]

That sounds awful! I can't stand salty things, especially not salty things that are pretending to be a pork chop.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Tranquility probably. That sounds nice and tranquil.

[Though he doesn't know if they can ask for something as mundane as s'mores ingredients.]

I think that's how they get it to last so long, just salt the hell out of it and put it in a bag. The pasta is okay, but the meat ones look horrible even if I did eat meat.

[unphase]

A little burning building and making s'mores in the flames? Yeah, that would work.

[she assumes it's worth a shot? after all, she's heard of people getting all kinds of things from the aliens]

Yechhh. I'd be afraid to touch even the pasta ones. But how'd you get so many of those things, anyway?

[theweakhavepurpose]

Well I have to eat something out there. I'm not going to chance that the shrubs are edible.

They showed up randomly a few months ago. Along with my shovel and the knife. There were a bunch of MRE's around so I collected as many as I could.

[unphase]

[she giggles] No, of course not. The local plant life is probably poisonous and hates us.

Oh. I guess that's pretty lucky they showed up. You couldn't have known that you'd need them for some big trip out into depression, but it's good that you had them.

[theweakhavepurpose]

It probably has teeth and will try to bite me too.

[Knowing this place anything is possible.]

Yeah, some of them are from the future according to the dates, but apparently even a hundred years from now MRE's still taste like ass and look like cat food. But it was something.

[unphase]

Probably! I wouldn't be surprised at all.

[including carnivorous plants.

and she giggles] I guess some things never change.

You missed a lot of wild stuff while you were away. Love gave us all soulmates and it was intense.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah I got back right in time for that apparently.

Mine was a monster. Go figure.

[unphase]

Oh. Lucky you, then. Did you guys at least get along?

[theweakhavepurpose]

For a bit. He uh.. mostly wanted skritches.

[They fell asleep on each other while Pratt pet him and it was adorable.]

Who did you get stuck with?

[unphase]

[she doesn't even have to know about the rest to coo] Oh, that's so cute! Did you have fun?

[and grife, this is a topic she wishes she could've avoided]

I got Kettara and a man named Charles. Kettara was very sweet and gave me a severed head of a monster she'd killed in my honor. And I'm trading lessons in Mandarin for lessons in Bgztlian with Charles.

[and that's it. that's all]

[theweakhavepurpose]

I don't know about fun but it was okay.

[He had a really nice nap and it was super relaxing.]

Yeah I know them. And that sounds just like her. She might have just proposed to you in Orcish, so prepare for that.

[Dubious.]

[unphase]

[she gives a friendly laugh]

"Okay" is about as much as we can expect.

[d'awwwww, socute!]

Really? Oh. Well, I appreciate it but my heart's been given to another.

[her boyfriend]

[theweakhavepurpose]

It could always be worse right?

[Okay that's almost optimistic. He's trying.]

I'm not sure but she has some weird customs. And thoughts about humans. Apparently we suck where she comes from.

[Granted he thinks they kinda suck where he comes from too, but that's beside the point.]

[unphase]

Absolutely it could!

[he is! and she's proud of him!

teasingly] Oh, but have you forgotten that I'm not human? I just look the part.

[she doesn't think that all humans suck, just the ones who buy into the White Triangle's philosophy]

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah that's why you don't suck and the rest of us assholes do.

[unphase]

[she giggles happily] I don't suck, huh? I think that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. Thank you.