Hadriel Inbox

[theweakhavepurpose]

INBOX This is... this is Deputy Pratt of the Hope County sheriff's department... art credit code credit

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[theweakhavepurpose]

Tranquility probably. That sounds nice and tranquil.

[Though he doesn't know if they can ask for something as mundane as s'mores ingredients.]

I think that's how they get it to last so long, just salt the hell out of it and put it in a bag. The pasta is okay, but the meat ones look horrible even if I did eat meat.

[unphase]

A little burning building and making s'mores in the flames? Yeah, that would work.

[she assumes it's worth a shot? after all, she's heard of people getting all kinds of things from the aliens]

Yechhh. I'd be afraid to touch even the pasta ones. But how'd you get so many of those things, anyway?

[theweakhavepurpose]

Well I have to eat something out there. I'm not going to chance that the shrubs are edible.

They showed up randomly a few months ago. Along with my shovel and the knife. There were a bunch of MRE's around so I collected as many as I could.

[unphase]

[she giggles] No, of course not. The local plant life is probably poisonous and hates us.

Oh. I guess that's pretty lucky they showed up. You couldn't have known that you'd need them for some big trip out into depression, but it's good that you had them.

[theweakhavepurpose]

It probably has teeth and will try to bite me too.

[Knowing this place anything is possible.]

Yeah, some of them are from the future according to the dates, but apparently even a hundred years from now MRE's still taste like ass and look like cat food. But it was something.

[unphase]

Probably! I wouldn't be surprised at all.

[including carnivorous plants.

and she giggles] I guess some things never change.

You missed a lot of wild stuff while you were away. Love gave us all soulmates and it was intense.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah I got back right in time for that apparently.

Mine was a monster. Go figure.

[unphase]

Oh. Lucky you, then. Did you guys at least get along?

[theweakhavepurpose]

For a bit. He uh.. mostly wanted skritches.

[They fell asleep on each other while Pratt pet him and it was adorable.]

Who did you get stuck with?

[unphase]

[she doesn't even have to know about the rest to coo] Oh, that's so cute! Did you have fun?

[and grife, this is a topic she wishes she could've avoided]

I got Kettara and a man named Charles. Kettara was very sweet and gave me a severed head of a monster she'd killed in my honor. And I'm trading lessons in Mandarin for lessons in Bgztlian with Charles.

[and that's it. that's all]

[theweakhavepurpose]

I don't know about fun but it was okay.

[He had a really nice nap and it was super relaxing.]

Yeah I know them. And that sounds just like her. She might have just proposed to you in Orcish, so prepare for that.

[Dubious.]

[unphase]

[she gives a friendly laugh]

"Okay" is about as much as we can expect.

[d'awwwww, socute!]

Really? Oh. Well, I appreciate it but my heart's been given to another.

[her boyfriend]

[theweakhavepurpose]

It could always be worse right?

[Okay that's almost optimistic. He's trying.]

I'm not sure but she has some weird customs. And thoughts about humans. Apparently we suck where she comes from.

[Granted he thinks they kinda suck where he comes from too, but that's beside the point.]

[unphase]

Absolutely it could!

[he is! and she's proud of him!

teasingly] Oh, but have you forgotten that I'm not human? I just look the part.

[she doesn't think that all humans suck, just the ones who buy into the White Triangle's philosophy]

[theweakhavepurpose]

Yeah that's why you don't suck and the rest of us assholes do.

[unphase]

[she giggles happily] I don't suck, huh? I think that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. Thank you.

[theweakhavepurpose]

You're welcome. See? I can be positive.

I'm a ray of fucking sunshine.

[unphase]

You are! [she tries to not sound as pleased as she feels, but it's likely a losing battle] You're absolutely a ray of sunshine. At least to me.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Okay let's not overdo it.

[unphase]

I'm not! [she bats her long, black eyelashes at him.

then she starts to giggle] Okay, maybe I am. Just a little bit.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Uh-huh. Look I'll be happy and cheerful when this place stops being a miserable cesspool and I'm on the beach with a Mai tai.

[unphase]

Something tells me we're not getting that anytime soon. But I'd be happy to meet you at the Speakeasy for a Mai Tai.

[theweakhavepurpose]

I haven't even been in there yet. I kind of figured me getting shitfaced would be a bad idea.

[unphase]

If you went with me, I wouldn't let you get shitfaced. One drink, some nice conversation, then we're gone.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Good. Me being drunk is.. not good.

[He gets real sad and sobs on everyone and it's probably a million times worse now that he has actual things to be sad about.]

Where are they getting alcohol in this place?