[He smiles widely enough that it pulls at the edges of his mask.]
Far gone as I worry I may be, with what life I had in shambles a world away... I do like the thought that this could be a new beginning, and a chance to do better. A chance to- to make up for what he did. For what- for what I—
[He has a hard time admitting it, not wishing to picture himself as a monster. The distance provided by treating the Blight Heir as a separate entity helps, but does not assuage his guilt. His fingers curl, his expression hardening.]
I will do better. It will take time, though. Time I am not sure I have.
I think in this place you have all the time you need. It doesn't follow the same rules of nature that back home did. Hadriel.. well.. people said no time passed if they went home and came back. Which I think means no time was really passing.
That's how someone explained it to me anyway. So you're kind of.. in stasis I guess. That's good right?
You said you sort of knew you were going to die when you did right? So if you get that feeling again, we can be prepared in advance and.. I dunno.. do.. something. Someone probably has an idea of how to .. contain.. that.
I suppose that is something else I should seek out soon. Hopefully, there are individuals here incapable of being controlled, ones who can... handle me, should the need arises. I would do it myself were I not uncertain of what would happen to my corpse.
[He glances toward Pratt, realizing that saying expression such morbid sentiments in front of a friend, even one he does not remember, is not likely to do either of them any favors.]
There's gotta be. There's like... robots and aliens and people from space. Folks with super powers too.
Makes me feel pretty boring.
[He takes it in stride. He's wondered sometimes if killing himself wouldn't be a better option. But in the end he's too much of a coward to go through with it. But that doesn't mean he won't put himself in dangerous situations for the sake of others and secretly hope he gets killed.]
Yeah, stay with the positives. It's gonna be better here.
[Carlisle had once wanted to be extraordinary, desperately wanting to be able to make his lineage proud; now knowing what he would eventually become, he wonders if he should have wished instead to be perfectly average.]
I can only hope, Deputy. But please, do not doubt your importance to this place and the people in in because you feel 'boring' by comparison. To have such 'gifts' is not as wonderful as it may seem... and more notably, you have already had an influence on at least one of us. That matters.
A little is more than nothing, which is more than some have now.
[Like himself. He has nothing left back home, and so little hope for the future, but... what little he has, he will try to foster. And if nothing else, he has someone who may be able to help him in Pratt.
He picks himself off the ground, dusting off his coat.]
I suppose I should get started with this new life, shouldn't I?
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no subject
[He smiles widely enough that it pulls at the edges of his mask.]
Far gone as I worry I may be, with what life I had in shambles a world away... I do like the thought that this could be a new beginning, and a chance to do better. A chance to- to make up for what he did. For what- for what I—
[He has a hard time admitting it, not wishing to picture himself as a monster. The distance provided by treating the Blight Heir as a separate entity helps, but does not assuage his guilt. His fingers curl, his expression hardening.]
I will do better. It will take time, though. Time I am not sure I have.
no subject
That's how someone explained it to me anyway. So you're kind of.. in stasis I guess. That's good right?
no subject
Perhaps. But unless I am in stasis here, there might be a problem if this... awakened state is not permanent.
no subject
[That could be.. problematic to say the least.]
You said you sort of knew you were going to die when you did right? So if you get that feeling again, we can be prepared in advance and.. I dunno.. do.. something. Someone probably has an idea of how to .. contain.. that.
[Not Pratt but.. someone.]
cw: suicidal ideation
I suppose that is something else I should seek out soon. Hopefully, there are individuals here incapable of being controlled, ones who can... handle me, should the need arises. I would do it myself were I not uncertain of what would happen to my corpse.
[He glances toward Pratt, realizing that saying expression such morbid sentiments in front of a friend, even one he does not remember, is not likely to do either of them any favors.]
That, and I cannot do better if I cease to exist.
no subject
Makes me feel pretty boring.
[He takes it in stride. He's wondered sometimes if killing himself wouldn't be a better option. But in the end he's too much of a coward to go through with it. But that doesn't mean he won't put himself in dangerous situations for the sake of others and secretly hope he gets killed.]
Yeah, stay with the positives. It's gonna be better here.
no subject
I can only hope, Deputy. But please, do not doubt your importance to this place and the people in in because you feel 'boring' by comparison. To have such 'gifts' is not as wonderful as it may seem... and more notably, you have already had an influence on at least one of us. That matters.
no subject
Thank you. That means a lot.
I'm trying to get better. More positive. Glad it's working a little.
no subject
[Like himself. He has nothing left back home, and so little hope for the future, but... what little he has, he will try to foster. And if nothing else, he has someone who may be able to help him in Pratt.
He picks himself off the ground, dusting off his coat.]
I suppose I should get started with this new life, shouldn't I?